10 years cancer free

Welcome, all!

My name is Danielle and I was birthed from a wonder woman.

I wish that also meant I had a lasso of truth and was formed by clay and brought to life by Zeus, but my life is not a DC film, okay? Even though I prefer Marvel… but no one asked me about it so we’re moving on.

Today, my warrior of a mom, Diane, celebrates 10 years of being cancer free! …I’M SORRY, WHAT?! WOOHOO! YAY!!!

Every year on this day, my family and I celebrate the fact that mom has not had to deal with any recurring diagnoses. Getting through the rest of 2008 was a feat in itself, let alone every year thereafter for her.

In 2008, Mom was diagnosed with stage 4A breast cancer. At the time, I was 13, my brother, 9, and Mom, the young age of 45. We didn’t necessarily know what would all accompany her diagnosis and the treatment that would follow. After a double mastectomy, both of which happened on separate occasions, chemotherapy and radiation, a reconstruction surgery gone rogue, which also meant an emergency surgery and a staff infection in her entire chest to remove the implants later, my mom was still able to put a smile on her face. She has trudged through some thick mud. Some hot rings. And whatever other phrase that really just means “tough shit.” I feel like I can say that because if you know my mom, she actually says random stuff like that. Montanan’s, am I right?

And at that age, all I knew was that my super hero mother could still be positive, joyful, and nurturing amidst the pain, suffering, and transition. Often times, we get to really see who a person is when they are in crisis, right? And what more of a crisis could my mom be in as a single mother of two, working full time, and now dealing with treatment for a 4A diagnosis?! The fact that she could still make my brother and I feel loved, laugh with us, and alleviate our fears regarding her well-being goes to show what kind of a lady she is. And the kind of lady that I also wanted to be.

Like she always has and always will, my mom used her ability to make people laugh and try to make light of the situation when she was going through treatment. Like when her hair grew back after she went through chemo and radiation, it was this real soft, pewter gray, short, bunny-soft hair… not going to lie, I was obsessed with touching it! But when family or friends would come over to visit her, she would always tell them she felt like Don Rickles! Who is Don Rickles you ask? Great question. I didn’t know at 13, and I still don’t really know. And I’ve even googled the dude.

Her humor was a great ice breaker she used to break the tension with family and friends that visited her. Because when your loved ones are grieving, or sick, or depressed, or experiencing any other human emotion or event that falls short of happiness, joy, and excitement, we often feel like we have to “fix” them. Or “do something” about it. And when we don’t know how to do either of those things, we either distance ourselves or overcompensate and try and do everything to “help.” And that is 1) exhausting for you and 2) exhausting for your loved one. Good thing mom had a sense of humor, though. It kept her smiling and it kept everyone else smiling, too. Although, sometimes I wondered if Mom was ever thinking something like “I’d rather just be sitting here with my cat.” Or like, “well good grief (yes, she actually still uses that phrase), if I get one more person who tells me I look amazing when I look like a more sickly version of Don Rickles, I’m gonna lose my shit.” Yes, I thought this as a 13 year old. And yes, I still think this as a 23 year old… hm? Sorry, what?

Moving on.

I always have a hard time knowing exactly what I want to say to celebrate my mom every year on this day. There aren’t enough words that equate to how much I respect and admire who she is. She is selfless. She is kind. She is a spit fire (have you ever watched film with her? Or driven in the car in downtown Seattle with her? Need I say more…). She is fierce. She is a fighter. She is passionate. She advocates for what is right. She is open-minded and all-inclusive. She is sensitive AND tough.

And the best part? She is my biggest fan, my biggest role model, and my own mom.

I love you, mom. Happy 10 years of being cancer free!!

xo

Who is your superhero? Have you had a loved one go through cancer?

Be grateful for what you have and even more grateful for what you don’t have.               – Diane Openiano

Mom and her brother, Fred

Mom & Dina, our amazing family friend and my other mom, at a Mariner’s baseball game.