I wanted to share my reflections last week, but then I realized that giving thanks doesn’t only end when Thanksgiving is over. So here we go – five days post-food coma.
What does Thanksgiving mean to you?
Things that I have noticed about thanksgiving days and dinners…
- Everyone always looks forward to the company they spend thanksgiving dinner with (apart from Aunt Suzy that was given an obligatory invitation because if she wasn’t invited you would never hear the end of it. Plus, who doesn’t love hearing her same cat stories over and over again?).
- There is always SO much food. Sometimes, dishes you never eat unless it’s thanksgiving.
- Cheese balls. Who invented these anyway? I have never seen a fancy cream cheese ball with fruit on it other than at thanksgiving. Why. Whatever. It tastes good. Sometimes. Depends on the fruit. Cherries? No, thank you.
- The “Grandma-spent-14-hours-preparing-and-roasting-this-d@*!-turkey-so-we-should-be-polite-and-take-a-piece” turkey VS. “uncle-Fred-spent-45-minutes-deep-fat-frying-this-turkey-and-we-have-to-pretend-we-don’t-like-it-way-better-than-Grandma’s” turkey.
- Do you wear jeans, dress, or stretchy jean leggings to thanksgiving dinner? Asking for a friend.
Point is, thanksgiving is always centered around food: food that you want to enjoy with those that you love because it means you continue to share experiences that are important to you. Thanksgiving brings up memories from the past that bring so much joy and sometimes, so much sorrow. But, in the big picture, thanksgiving means you get to come together with people to CONNECT.
I asked a couple of close people in my life what thanksgiving meant to them. They shared things like how thanksgiving was a special day to spend time with the people you care about. It means that you appreciate the food that is prepared by the ones you love, and the work that was put into preparing that food. And the best part, you get to share it with people that you love and care about – regardless if they are family or not! Another pointed out “thanks-giving…” giving thanks… it is a season to be with people you’re grateful for and acknowledge others you cannot be with, but you’re still grateful for. You recognize how blessed you are in life and remind yourself to adjust your attitude to give people something to be grateful for.
Shook.
Maybe that’s a little dramatic. Okay, it’s dramatic, but nonetheless, it validated some new revelations I had about thanksgiving this year, especially because I wasn’t able to spend it with close friends and family.
What simple, humbling reminders.
I was thinking a lot more about what this holiday represents and what it means to me this year. Ideally, I would have loved to be home and with my family and family friends that I am usually with. But, various circumstances left me to spend thanksgiving in Spokane with few options to spend time with few people that I knew.
And surprisingly, it was actually a really cool time to step out of my comfort zone! It actually made me think about 1) how important family and family friends are to me, especially when I couldn’t be with them during a time I am used to spending with them and 2) how I have neglected to explore what thanksgiving might mean to others who don’t have family or friends to spend time with. Growing up, if my mom, or other mom’s we would spend thanksgiving with, knew of anyone who would be spending the holiday alone, they would instantly become an honorary family member. And I know my family isn’t the only one who has done this! So many families extend their open arms to those who aren’t able to enjoy an enormous meal with their family and friends. How cool is that? What a cool way to love others.
Shower thought: what if we always lived like our dinner meals were a thanksgiving holiday? Sharing food with those we knew weren’t able to share food with anyone else besides themselves…
Anyway, not being with family, and not being able to share thanksgiving with a friend or family that I really knew or who knew me, made me think about what it means to me. And how it has changed for me, too.
Thanksgiving isn’t about making sure everything is the way it has always been. That every dish is cooked to perfection. That every dessert that was there last thanksgiving is present at this thanksgiving. That the number of people that you spend thanksgiving with takes away from the company that’s in the room as a whole. It is not meant to be an exclusive event. For my family and me, thanksgiving has always meant being around family and friends. Our thanksgiving “traditions” have always been fluid, no rigid lines must be maintained.
Thanksgiving means that all are welcome to come and eat, to be, and to feel connected to something other than their own very existence. Because what better way to feel connected to someone than to share something you really enjoy eating with them? And hope that they enjoy eating it, too?
This year, I spent my thanksgiving with basically complete strangers. And it was a blast! My connection to the 15 other strangers was one woman: a woman who happens to be a patient at my workplace. She asked about my thanksgiving plans and I told her my plans had fallen through a few times and I didn’t know what I was going to do. Without hesitation, she told me that she’s making another seat for me to join her family and family friends – and I was so delighted, and actually shocked! This woman only knew me through work… and she had no qualms about me joining her? Her warm invitation lessened my anxiety about feeling like I was invading her plans, a burden for the other people in her “party” that didn’t know me, or feeling like I had to be professional during this special holiday (as she’s only seen me in a professional setting). The rest of the evening spent with her crew was so fulfilling- these strangers made me feel like I was a part of their family, never once making me feel uncomfortable. Nor did they judge me for the multiple mini pecan pie tarts I had because my good lord those things were dang good. Apparently they were someone’s grandma’s recipe, so obviously that meant a free pass to help ourselves to seconds. And thirds. And fourths… hm? What?
These strangers loved on me without knowing an ounce of my story, yet they trusted that their friend wasn’t going to invite someone that was going to tear things up (although the only thing I thought about tearing up was the apple pie at the end of dinner, but I was too full. Ugh).
Christian or not, I think we can all agree that thanksgiving is a time where you extend selfless love and gratitude. This is why we meet with family members we maybe see once a year; this is why we send texts to our friends and family that can’t be with us; this is why we invite the person at your work that doesn’t have a place to celebrate thanksgiving; this is why we extend the invitation of thanksgiving to friends that can’t be with family; this is why we make exceptions and make room for those who don’t have a space to connect with others during this special holiday.
I am thankful for the way things turned out, especially since this was my first thanksgiving without being around my brother and mom. This year’s thanksgiving gave me a tangible example of what it means to love in a different way. So thank you, to my friend from work and the strangers that have become friends over this holiday.
“I’d like to thank the academy… four score and seven years ago… I had a dream…that man would make one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind…I’m tired now. Goodnight” – Syara Soo Caruhlsun
love like you should 